Living on a dream

There is a great Tom Petty song of the same name as my title of today's blog post. Living on a dream is what is in my mind. I want a simpler life far from the busy life I lead today. There are too many phone calls and a to-do list that stretches on interminably. Every Monday it hits me! I'm not living my dream.

Over the weekend I slow down and let myself relax. That's when I let my mind gravitate toward my dream. My dream is to one day to own a small piece of land with a view of the ocean from my front porch and a view of the mountains out my back patio. The one place that I have seen where that would be a reality is on the west coast. Once when I was in San Francisco for business I decided to stay over for the weekend and took an all-day bus tour down the Pacific Coast Highway and I fell in love. I took a pen and paper and my camera and captured every thought and moment of the day. One of the recurring themes of that trip was one day that will be my home! Except for the fact that I am married to a staunch conservative who wouldn't be caught dead living in CA, I would be there today! He wants to move to Alaska and my retort is not over my dead body. And so we are at odds as to where to move without dead bodies left behind... I've started telling him that I might just go to LA for a couple of years to work on my MFA at Otis and he can go live in Alaska for those years. We laugh. But it just might work out that way.

And so in my spare time, I surf web sites that feature land in California. It's my way of relaxing and looking to the future. My dream is to retire there, build a house high on a hill with a sweeping view of the ocean and soaring mountains behind me. Yes, it's a dream and it lives secretly tucked away when I'm on the phone helping someone with his computer issues or developing a web site for a team member. But on the weekend, my dream comes alive. I've even got something called a dream board where I stick up pictures of what I think it should look like. I will have a huge picture window where I can look out to the sea, where I can write undisturbed for as long as I want without my blackberry jarring my stillness. I'll turn it off forever!

But for now it's back to the phones, back to the busy-ness that makes up my life. Back to supporting my teammates who need help with their Sharepoint sites. Back to the emails and the reports. Tuck the dream away for now and get back to work! I have to work; I can't be living on a dream. But it sure makes life more interesting :)

Taking a red pen to my essay

I crossed out whole paragraphs of my second essay. I slashed and rearranged and moved parts from here to there. The thing about editing is, I enjoy it! Taking it apart and reordering whole sections and cutting out all the things that distract from the focus is fun. The editing process is at times more fun than the first draft. Having everyone's input into what should be changed is very helpful and I am so grateful for that. I fear my critiques have been painfully limited. My mind has been disturbed and my focus has been warped. My usually bright and lively spirit has been dampened with a work-related issue. I will blog about that in another post. For now, my red pen is getting its work-out. Be gone, paragraph! Cut! Paste! Bwwwaaaa, oh the power of the pen!!

Oh the joy of school

I ask myself why I didn't finish college when I was 19. I could have gone on two years and gotten my BA but instead got married and traveled a lot and had kids and a divorce and remarried. It wasn't til I turned 50 that I seriously committed to going back to school. Now I'm slogging through a couple of classes every semester. I just got back from talking to my advisor and I still have seven semesters to go. But it's ok. I love learning. I learn something every day at work, at school, at home, everywhere I go my mind is open to picking up new things. I not only love to learn, but I love teaching others what I know. I come from a long line of teachers so maybe that's why I have this love of learning inside me. I used to be a trainer and there is nothing more exciting than helping someone learn something new. So I will be at Queens another couple of years slogging through my studies, balancing work and school, having no social life to speak of. But I'm determined not only to get my BA but my MFA too so you'll see me around campus for awhile yet. Those of you who are graduating, be happy!! You did it when you were young!